Focus on the Kids and Protect Them During the Divorce

by Annette Burns on May 20, 2011

Raising happy, healthy kids during a divorce:  possible?    Yes, probably in most cases, with enough parent education, and assuming each parent is willing  to do enough work on himself and herself to get through the anger.

Here are a few resources to help parents:

Raising Happy, Healthy Kids (CNN article)

Parenting After Divorce (yes, this applies during the divorce too) by Philip Stahl, Ph.D.;

Co-Parenting Survival Guide by Jeffrey Zimmerman, Ph.D. and Elizabeth Thayer, Ph.D.;

Don’t Alienate the Kids! by Bill Eddy;   “Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High Conflict Divorce”.     See also other high-conflict materials and articles at

Every decision and approach that is good for the children involves focusing on the children, letting go of anger, and giving up something.    It’s so easy (and so common) to blame everything that’s going wrong in a divorce on the other parent, but the continuation of blame (and trying to prove fault) is what hurts the children.

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