How do we tell the kids?

by Annette Burns on November 15, 2010

I've always wished that Oprah would do a show on how parents should tell their children that they're getting divorced.  Maybe she has, and I missed it.  I know I've been asked this question several times, and I've done my best to answer.  But unfortunately, usually by the time people get to me, the deed has been done.

I just received Putting Children First:  Proven Parenting Strategies for Helping Children Thrive Through Divorce by JoAnne Pedro-Carroll, Ph.D.  Buy on Amazon

While skimming through it to decide where to start, I was happy to notice an entire section called "Telling the Children and Preparing Them For Changes."    Instead of just touching on the issue of telling the children in a few paragraphs, this book spends 40+ pages on the subject, going through the "telling" stage by the child's age and offering strategies for the tough situations, like when one parent already has a significant other, or when one parent leaves very abruptly.   

It's nice to have this information from a Ph.D. who's given the subject a great deal of thought.  Yes, you can ask your friends, neighbors, family and even your divorce lawyer how to handle the situation, but I suggest you start with this reasoned advice and see if it doesn't make a lot of sense for your family.

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